The old fashioned approach to dating is the future

The advent of the internet followed by the emergence of dating websites and apps has revolutionised society’s approach to relationships. Using technology similar to that commonly used to order a taxi or a takeaway, many now elect to arrange a dinner or cocktails with a relatively unknown potential partner.

And while there is merit in opening ourselves up to meeting new people – after all – we’re unlikely to meet Mr or Mrs Right without colliding with Mr or Mrs Wrong first, the immediacy – and ease – of online encounters has arguably diminished the romance once intrinsic to dating and the motivation to find love.

Instead, many now regard potential suitors as disposable or replaceable, creating a disconnect between those who want something serious and those who are driven by the ephemeral.

Of course, a proportion of long-term relationships ensue successfully from app culture, which is unsurprising given that recent data indicates online dating has increased across all age groups since 2013 and one in seven relationships began via the internet, but not all outcomes are positive.

Indeed, independent research shows that the online dating sphere has given rise to harassment, particularly towards women. Of those surveyed, 57% of females and 21% of males said that they had inadvertently invited unwanted attention, been pestered, or felt uncomfortable as a result of an online dating app. In essence, the recipients of harassment lost control.

Without doubt, we all need to exercise more judgement when it comes to who we date – in the first instance for our own safety, but equally so that we can return to that golden age of matchmaking, in which we took the time to get to know our [potentially] significant other – over long conversations, leisurely walks, and animated suppers.

 

‘Without doubt, we all need to exercise more judgement when it comes to who we date.’

 

Relationship psychologists state that face to face interaction is critical to the success of a romance, and that gut instinct can’t be ignored. Inevitably, that sixth sense can only truly activate in person – whether a result of pheromones, hormones or animal instinct. It is crucial to invest time in the fundamental assessment of chemistry, but not without necessary due diligence and the reassurance afforded by an introduction made through a trusted circle of family and friends.

While online dating has purportedly initiated almost 15% of current relationships, that indicates that 85% of relationships began without the internet. Reading between the lines, shouldn’t we all question the success rates of digital dating and revert to more traditional, romantic means?